We went to the Tank Museum at Bovington Army Camp today. Here are some pictures.

I haz iPhone 3GS and I love it so far. That is all.

In this post, I’ll argue that the iPhone isn’t a device for everyone. I’m not going to claim that the iPhone is better than anything else on the market with no exceptions, as that would be incorrect. It certainly isn’t the ‘ultimate gadget’ as is often claimed in the media. I’ll also argue that Apple are a downright stupid company most of the time.

An iPhone.

I have owned a variety of Symbian (S60 and UIQ) and Windows Mobile devices and agree that their open source architecture is a great benefit. Although Apple are not obliged to make their iPhone OS open source, it certainly is a step backward.
That said, developers being able to only use the Apple dev kit, and then having to have their apps approved means there is a certain amount of quality control and consistency involved. It also pretty much eliminates the possibility of malware and similar unwelcome nasties due to the closed nature of the OS. Granted, some apps do cause crashes now and again, but this is usually down to coding error rather than malicious reasons, and are more often than not corrected with free updates. There are still some pretty rubbish apps on the App Store though, but every platform has its fair share of dross amongst the good stuff.
There is also absolutely NO good reason AT ALL for Apple not to include video recording, MMS, Bluetooth OBEX/A2DP, copy & paste and SMS forwading from the outset. It is baffling, ridiculous and downright WTF. That Apple have decided to include some of these features in the OS 3.0 update is nice. But they seem to be marketing the ’new’ features in such a way that makes it appear as if the iPhone is the only device to have them and that they are somehow ‘groundbreaking’.  The camera is also rubbish. 2mp is just not good enough.
Apple also claim that they didn’t include 3G or GPS in the first iPhone is because of battery issues. If that really is the case, give the device a user replaceable battery and the problem is solved. Or just get better batteries. What is more likely to be the truth is that they knew they were going to bring out an updated model the following year, and were counting on peoples blind fanboyism to want the latest model, and bring Apple another shedload of cash. The similar argument can be made for not bringing out a 32Gb model – don’t include an expandable memory slot. If people want more storage they will have to buy the new model.
Neither of these practices are illegal, but they certainly are unnecessary and maybe profiteering.

Now for my opinions as a user.
I should explain that I am not an Apple fanboy as the above comments should illustrate. I am not a fan of their business practices, although I can honestly say that I wasn’t ‘in the know’ about this until after I bought it.
I know some people don’t like touchscreens for whatever reasons. Buttons are easier, makes the screen dirty etc, and that’s perfectly reasonable. But I don’t personally have any issues. I carry a lint free glasses cleaning cloth with me to clean the screen. It also ensures that I wash my hands often to minimize greasy fingermarks. The onscreen keyboard is something you can get used to. I have, and I am just as comfortable on it as a handset with a regular keypad.
16Gb is enough storage for me. I don’t have a lot of media anyway. It would be nice, however, to have the option to expand this via a memory slot. Another misjudgement by Apple.
The camera is awful, but if I really want to take pics, I’ll use an EOS.
It has a phone in it. This can be useful.
It has a decent web browser. The lack of Flash support is a huge oversight, and Apple has no excuse for not implementing it.
I can honestly say I don’t miss MMS or proper Bluetooth support. But Apple are still being daft for not implementing them at launch.
The headphone socket on my original iPhone is 3.5mm, but is recessed. This means it can only use Apple’s supplied earphones or others with an adapter. My new Sennheiser PX200 headphones have a plug that fits directly so it’s now not an issue.
Apple’s claim that ‘there’s an app for that’ is very hard to debunk. There is an app for pretty much everything. Want Sim City on your iPhone? It’s there. Not some cut down phone version, the proper one. Want to edit your WordPress blog on your iPhone? Ok, there you are, a WordPress app written by WordPress themselves. Ebay? Check. Google Earth and Streetview? Yes please. Home Automation, Lolcats, last.fm, Xbox 360 Achievement Guide, a variety of Fart apps….the list is almost endless.
As a business device, the iPhone still has a long way to go before usurping the BlackBerry and Nokia’s E-Series of business handsets. With the release of OS 3.0, it may become more viable as a business and enterprise tool. But Apple still have a lot of work to do. The battery life for starters.

As a phone/browser/iPod/entertainment device, the iPhone is great for me. I’m not really into programming and tweaking and things like that. I know how some people are into all that – I used to install cooked ROMs all the time on my Windows Mobile device, so I understand the open source thing and how addictive it can be. It just wasn’t for me.

So for now, I’ll stick to my iPhone….until the new model comes out.

There really is no level to which a Debt Collection Agency will stoop?
This is the second scam that I haven’t fallen victim to in as many weeks. I recently got an email from ‘Facebook’ asking me to confirm a change of password that I supposedly requested. I have not ever requested to change my password, I did not click on the link. Scammer fail.

This morning, a letter arrived at my parents house, addressed to me. It was from a Debt Collection Agency called 1st Credit Ltd. A quick Google search revealed the company to be less than popular on the Money Saving Expert forums.

Those who know me know of my black hearted vitriolic hate for companies of dubious moral standards (sometimes, even Apple Inc. deserve a bashing). So as it happens, I was not best pleased to receive this letter. It’s the arrogant, impertinent audacity and downright supercilious pomposity with which they try it on, as well as the lack of details. So I decided to email the bastards responsible and tell them where to go.

Below is what they sent to me. Click on the image to see full size.

Dear Sir/Madam,

 

Thank you for your letter regarding a ‘personal matter’. It was most amusing.

 

I am delighted to inform you that all of my finances are being dealt with by another company, and I will not be requiring your services.
Should I receive any correspondence regarding my finances, the parties in question provide, at the very least, SOME information with which I am familiar. For instance, the name of the company from whom you bought the ‘debt’ would be a good start, as are figures and dates. This is not only important with regard to clear communication i.e who, what, when, where, how, but reassuring from a security point of view. I would not give out any personal information to a company that cannot or will not provide any information other than ‘personal matter’. I believe I am being sensible and cautious, and, quite simply, not as stupid as you think.

 

I have researched your company on many respected financial websites, and the general opinion is very shoddy. Phrases such as ’stong-arm tactics’, ‘dubious methods’, ‘downright lying’, ’scare tactics’ and ‘illegal practice’ are just a small selection of the wonderfully reassuring descriptions of your operation. Your scheme of sending vague letters is very well known.

 

Failure to provide even the most basic of details regarding my ‘personal matter’ leads me to feel less than obliged to comply with your request for me to telephone one of your nightclub bouncers. So I hope you can forgive me for not doing so.

 

All the best.

1234567 (real Ref No. changed)
(Remember ‘The Prisoner’ from the telly? “I am not a number, I am a free man!”)

I feel quite proud of myself.

The Captain out for a drink

Went out for a few drinks with my best mate tonight. That’s it really!

Back in the day, when I was at The Western Gazette the first time round, my workload would dry up around Christmas time. Indeed, as did the workload of almost everybody else in the building. This was normal at Christmas time and nothing to worry about. So, with extra time on my hands, I had some fun. Myself and Dave the IT Guy would have nonsense email conversations, which were something of a success given that we both have a similar sense of humour. I then came up with the idea of ‘Ian’s Science Journal’. These were a collection of emails describing how various ‘things’ work. They were written in a ridiculous style with lots of made up words. Scientific accuracy was not the aim. I took influence from ‘Engrish‘ and John Lennon’s writings, such as ‘A Spaniard in the Works’
Here are the results for you to enjoy, and for me to get slightly embarassed about.

Extract from “IAN’S SCIENCE JOURNAL HAMMER” Feb 1999 issue.

fig. 17c

THE KETTLE

Come on, put water in! COME ON! Then preth the buckon. What is doo’s that is to start electrums through than metal thring. Calls it elemins. Makes water boitle. Get heat up on the 100’s. Automaticaffy plicks off. Pouree

Extract from “IAN’S SCIENCE JOURNAL BERNARD” 2006 May Edition.

GPS NAVIGATION SYSTEMS

If you want an explained thing of how the GPS work’d you should really readle on. You will, I know it.

fig 12(i)

GPSGPS work’d over the above call of duty. It gets no medals howmever cos it’s a robot.

The is a burger and microchirp on it’s botty called a GPS Head. A smatterlite in space has men in it that know everything about allvrything direction-wise.

The GPS says to smatterlite men “I wannan gone to this place please. How? HOW? Man in the wheel-seat wannan gannan go to places!”

Smatterlite men say “Here. Eat. Enjoy”

Lady in GPS’s talks to the wheel-man and tell him how to gannan to get to place through a series of stunted growths and grunths. Big arrows and castles also pointen the damon wayans.

GPSS does not help you carry your bags when you reach the place you wanted to gannan.

End of.

Science Journal

How Computers Work:

1. On

2. Mouse

Extract from “IAN’S SCIENCE JOURNAL OH YES” October 1999 issue.
Translated from the original Japanese

TOASTER

Return smiling with a inventing round whelk. It’s super time as a TOASTER makes a mark to nice. Explaining working practice nines.

Can it possible? It is bread supreme of joviality time. Sliced segmented bread, muffin or other bread. It hasn’t to be not cooked. Later is the time for wonder cooking. Invigorate my TOASTER into which placing breading producer. As it is time now of the best depressing of button. Sinking bread to inwards of the TOASTER. Manie electricals spice around and spin with iron filed elements. Electrics enthuse and spark with many elements, making a hot. Substinance of dough roasted, toasted. To be.

Extract from “IAN’S SCIENCE JOURNAL OH YES” Special Collectors Edition (Hardback) 2005 issue.

THE MICROWAVE

The following, it has been decided by me and a panel of people called German Roy, is a MICROWAVE journal, explaning the uses of many things. HO YES! The many things of course only being the one thing, the jolly MICROWAVE of days gone by. Love me, love MICROWAVE. Splendour upon the stuff.

fig 21(ii)

The MICROWAVE must primary reason Wakey 2000 from the slumber it inhabits. NUDGE IT! NUDGE IT! ELBOW! Now, fully roused as a jimmy-jimmy, how it really does know the food and fudging it must on. Is there a hatch on the back? There is not, not since 1956. Now the front hatch is what it is! Give it the opening instruction and put a food in the inside of this MEEKONWIVE. Great. The setting of level power is mainly dial done. Turn it. TURN IT. You are good. Full of goodness and iron. Inside the MARKETSLAVE is a definitive devices calling of its name. Name being a Rotunda Branch. Making it’s well made timed entry to the good process, it makes waves call MICROMACHINES. These little fish-type grunters run around the indelibles of the passionate metal box. Warm is what they get (get). All of the perpitrations of sweat is given off with many a hurry up. The hot-juice boiling now is spangled flagrantly upon substance with cooking desire. Cooking. Popular belief is saying that cooked food is YES.

Extract from “IAN’S SCIENCE JOURNAL OH YES” Spring/Summer Archive 2004 issue.

DESK FANS

Begins the dawn of the following explanation towards an operating of DESK FANS.

(This rambunctious knowledge also applies to the manning of OTHER FANS)

Explanation nation. BEGINS! NOW!

fig 9a(i)

DESK FANS are terrible. They are not terrible if there is air. This is as the because need air to be effervescence of great. Needed has to really be a super power supplement, namely a set of keys. Supplement needed greatly to rat-a-tat-a-tat the tubinnium spin-spin twist-twisty. The bladders of the bearded tubobinnium are set thus forward to the certain angle requisite of air shoving. Air is socked thrust this Ray Reardon of this caged monstrosity, accelerando’d herewith through the aforementioned twist-stick, and desiring freeze juice lovely is made, freezing men and goats in equal justifiability. They are in love with the FAN, and marrying is optioned.

Justly proud of the cryogenic problem solved, a variety of DESK FLANS now hold inside their magic selves, a big bonus up-sleeve joyous. ROTATING HEADS! Loving comes from men and goats twice as much now. A bumper area of men and goats are frozen. ROTATING HEADS! are also retaining of a super bonus sleeve. TILTY HEAD ERNIE! Yes, these delightful relayers of proud, cold breath-gas also ablitise to freeze men and goats of many different layers of tall. Love comes from many heights now for our jubilantly celebrated penguin climate puffer.

Coming soon: An explanation proposal of as to how and DESK FANS do operate.

Extract from “IAN’S SCIENCE JOURNAL OH YES” Jim 1998 issue. It is!

fig. 12

The Photocopier

Photocopiers work by placing the original document (document) face down onto the glass roof garden (garden), and then slamming shut the hinged (hinged) lid (lid).

You then select the options for your photocoffee, such as contrast, darkness (darkness), size and scale (scale) options, rotability, rotatability, and even number of copies (copies). You the press the button (button) marked ‘Go’, ‘Starts’ or ‘I could eat a horse’ and the process starts.

A device very similar to a thing passes the underside of the glass garden (garden) and has a look at the stuff. It’s got a light in it so it can see in the dark (dark). Then it sends the stuff down a big pipe (pipe) to a magic box (box) that throws glue onto some paper (pepper). Then it throws some stuff very similar to very finely ground coffee (or coal) onto the (the) glued up pepper. Colour photocauliflowers are even cleverer because the do it in colour (colour), and have more magic bits in, designed by Prince Charles.

Extract from “IAN’S SCIENCE JOURNAL OH YES” November 2002 issue.

Authors Note: The below was originally in English. This is the German translation, translated back into English. Original German translation by Gunther Plaff, English translation by Guy Shovel-Hinds.

Fig. 1.7 appendix a

How the way of the jet engine does work, too.

Originally work, the engine is turned. On. Secondmost being the invitation of fuel to direct into the mixing chamber. The shafting turbinnos sucking air within the mix chamber, mixing. Results have being churner of airs and fuel, bang maker bang.

Banging gases have forced back to the ‘out’ section. This bringging over much thrust. THRUST! Aero-crafte momentus in forward. FLY BIRDIE FLY YES??

Extract from “IAN’S SCIENCE JOURNAL OH YES” Feb 2000 issue.

SPRINGS

fig. 9a

Springs work in two ways, thus

1 – They can create an opposite force when a force is applied from being squashed (compression).

2 – They can create an opposite force when a force is applied from being pulled apart (spanners*).

*The term ’spanners’ is only accurate when the spring is an exposed environment. When the spring is not in an exposed environment, ie inside a cylindrical casing, it should be referred to as ’spangers 3-6′

The bottle of posh wine, on a fridgy background

For Valentine’s Day this year, as well as the classic smellies and candle option, I decided to buy some ‘posh wine’.
Me and my fiancee are both red wine lovers, so it wold be something we would both enjoy.

Off to Tesco I went, safe in the knowledge that I have absolutely no wine expertise whatsoever, which meant all I had to worry about was the budget.
I settled on a bottle of 2000 vintage from the ‘posh’ section of the Tesco wine aisle, costing 27.99GBP, their second most expensive red, the most expensive being 99.99GBP.
Now obviously, to the wine coinoisseur, 28 quid for a bottle of wine is most likely bargain basement wine brought out at the end of the party when there isn’t much cheese left (and if there is, it’s either that horrid smoked cheese or that stuff with berries in) and there is vomit in the hedge.
But for us, used to wine costing between 5-6 quid, it was posh.
The first thing that struck us was the weight of the bottle. Noticably heavier than normal. And the indent at the bottom was much deeper.
The second thing that struck me, as I was the one to open it, was the extremely satisfying ’squeak’ of the cork. Both whilst inserting the corkscrew and whilst extracting the fine, also posh, cork.

Mari the fiancee with a serious wine face

We poured two glasses in accordance with the advice from my wine book, did the swirly whing, snorted and held it up to the light, neither of us any the wiser as to what to look or smell for. We just thought we should do it.

captainrendall gives it 'the nose'

Then we tasted it.

It was alright, I suppose. Probably stick to the 5-6 quid range.

Cheap wine, courtesy of Sky

As you can see, I have made a lovely new custom header for my blog. For the background, I used a picture of what appears to be a derelict steel-works, ‘cos I like that sort of imagery.

The font is a typeface called Base 02, to which I added a 1pt black outline, a black drop shadow, and a little perspective effect.

The other images are of an album cover that I like because of the artist’s wacky stance, and a photograph of me in a box. On the album cover, I Photoshopped out the name of the artist (Leo Parker) and put in my name, being careful to replicate the original colour, font, angle and lighting. On both images I added a masked gradient to blend the edges.

As the title says, this is the first post from my WordPress app on the iPhone.
Well done me!

Welcome to captainrendall.wordpress.com. This is my first post.
I have edited it and started blogging!

Have a FREE LOLCat just for looking!

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